Admittedly, I've been giving these Somalian pirates only casual attention since their most recent wave of activity began earlier this year. From what I can tell - these pirates have worked out a fairly crude operation, that has until today, proven to be quite profitable. Given what I can only imagine are their living conditions, I can almost understand their motivation. Almost.
Not that I'm particularly versed in the inner-workings or for that matter existence of Somalian or other African governments, but it seems as if more than anything, they have turned a collective blind eye to what goes on in the waters off of their costs. What I DO know, is that for some time, during and on the heels of the recently replaced Bush administration, a large contingent of Americans have pushed for the United States to remove ourselves from foreign involvement. "This _______ is not our problem and / or we have no place to exert our influence in ________," seems to be the "in" consensus these days.
Now, I would like to point out that what is currently going on, by way of an American destroyer approaching the recently hijacked / retaken / etc. Maersk Alabama, is at this point an American effort to retake what is ours, albeit in international waters. What I would like to really point out, is that I cannot wait to see what the international (and domestic) reaction is tomorrow morning, when I assume the situation will be resolved.
From my abbreviated research into the current piracy wave, I understand that the instant standoff between the U.S. and the pirates is the FIRST whereby the home nation of a captured ship has made any effort, other than to pay the pirate's ransom demands, to recover what's been taken.
Will the world look at us as leaders again? Will our traditional mentality of international badassness be scorned, or perhaps chalked up as another brilliant success of our new president?
Honestly, I do not know the answer. In fact, all I know is, that I'm proud that the US is the first country to take a significant stand against these lawless individuals. Similarly, I am almost proud that, 1.) the US has remained uninvolved in the hijackings of other country's ships, and 2.) now the international community will see just what the US could have offered if asked to intervene.
Finally - what I REALLY want to know, is why in God's name are these giant ships running around with no protection after the length of time these pirates have been taking ships? I mean seriously - has anybody seen the pictures or videos of these pirates? It's unbelievable. To draw a completely accurate analogy - these pirates, in the grand scheme of things, when compared to the tankers they overtake appear to pose the same threat that squirrels pose to drivers on 695. I truly believe that if the shipping companies that manage these vessels provided for MINIMAL security, these pirates would effectively pose no further threat.
Soap box. SNAP.
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
"He Must Be Gay"
Before I get going on this, I will warn any potential reader that this will certainly be the first post where I show blatant aggressiveness toward relative strangers for fairly benign behavior in a fit of judgment. There it is.
That being said, here we go. When I was in college / graduate school, I spent at least half of my working week in the service industry either bar tending or waiting tables to make some cash and pay the bills. In those jobs, I obviously had a lot of contact with strangers and the public in general. A lot of the interaction I had with people was positive, and gave me great experience to draw from when dealing with customers that you would generally want to please and have return for future business, referrals, etc. Sometimes, customers would even go as far to offer help in furthering my career goals however they could if they were particularly impressed or interested.
However - there were a few other types of customer interactions that would occur on a regular basis, the worst of which obviously created stories that will stay with me until the day I die, but those are for another post.
The interactions I want to address instantly involve young women who were within +/- 5-ish years of my age at the time I was working. Without trying to sound cocky, on more than one occasion females would either subtly or painfully blatantly hit on me / other similarly situated co-workers. Now, I am admittedly VERY picky about girls. VERY. To the point where a lot of my friends both male and female have told me that I'm crazy and my expectations / standards are too high. What's worse, is I am terrible at politely telling people in general, not just girls, that I'm not interested in whatever they are saying and to leave me the hell alone.
All of these factors combined, on more than one occasion, to place me squarely in situations where a random slag would ask me to "hang out" with her sometime, or offer me her number, etc. On each of these occasions I fumbled my way through saying "no" in a round-about way, or just straight up lied and said something like "I'll be right back to talk about it" and in true middle school fashion wouldn't go near her the rest of the night.
Anyway - given the relatively small town I bar tended in, let's just say these special ladies were never just one-time customers. On at least three occasions I can remember, when one of these girls came back in later after I either didn't call, accept the invitation, whatever, I heard either first hand or second, the girls say to either a friend or one of my co-workers something along the lines of, "he didn't call, or _________ (fill in the blank), so he must be gay."
I am not offended that I somehow fit whatever homosexual stereotype these undoubtedly refined ladies have in their heads, but I am certainly shocked at the amount of over-confidence and arrogance that girls can often have simply because they are girls. Sorry sweetie, but you might not be the gem that you think you are. Personally, someone the size of Bart Scott in a skirt just doesn't do it for me. Or maybe it was when you told me that you were applying to law school and responded that your LSAT score was an 1130. (just to be clear this indicates a blatant lie, not a poor performance) Or maybe, just maybe, it was when you said something about having 2 more shots then getting home to put your kid to bed. (this one is terrifying for many reasons) These reasons are not even close to exhaustive of what I could fill this space with, but a brief illustration.
I mean, seriously, I know I'm not the only guy around who has had this happen, or who find these situations hilarious yet simultaneously infuriating. What really chaps my ass is that this particular type of girl, which in my opinion makes up at least 50% of the young female population, genuinely believes that I should, as a man, be interested in her because she has boobs and the opposite of a penis.
That being said, to the future wife out there, have your pen and independent counsel ready - I'll bring the prenupt.
That being said, here we go. When I was in college / graduate school, I spent at least half of my working week in the service industry either bar tending or waiting tables to make some cash and pay the bills. In those jobs, I obviously had a lot of contact with strangers and the public in general. A lot of the interaction I had with people was positive, and gave me great experience to draw from when dealing with customers that you would generally want to please and have return for future business, referrals, etc. Sometimes, customers would even go as far to offer help in furthering my career goals however they could if they were particularly impressed or interested.
However - there were a few other types of customer interactions that would occur on a regular basis, the worst of which obviously created stories that will stay with me until the day I die, but those are for another post.
The interactions I want to address instantly involve young women who were within +/- 5-ish years of my age at the time I was working. Without trying to sound cocky, on more than one occasion females would either subtly or painfully blatantly hit on me / other similarly situated co-workers. Now, I am admittedly VERY picky about girls. VERY. To the point where a lot of my friends both male and female have told me that I'm crazy and my expectations / standards are too high. What's worse, is I am terrible at politely telling people in general, not just girls, that I'm not interested in whatever they are saying and to leave me the hell alone.
All of these factors combined, on more than one occasion, to place me squarely in situations where a random slag would ask me to "hang out" with her sometime, or offer me her number, etc. On each of these occasions I fumbled my way through saying "no" in a round-about way, or just straight up lied and said something like "I'll be right back to talk about it" and in true middle school fashion wouldn't go near her the rest of the night.
Anyway - given the relatively small town I bar tended in, let's just say these special ladies were never just one-time customers. On at least three occasions I can remember, when one of these girls came back in later after I either didn't call, accept the invitation, whatever, I heard either first hand or second, the girls say to either a friend or one of my co-workers something along the lines of, "he didn't call, or _________ (fill in the blank), so he must be gay."
I am not offended that I somehow fit whatever homosexual stereotype these undoubtedly refined ladies have in their heads, but I am certainly shocked at the amount of over-confidence and arrogance that girls can often have simply because they are girls. Sorry sweetie, but you might not be the gem that you think you are. Personally, someone the size of Bart Scott in a skirt just doesn't do it for me. Or maybe it was when you told me that you were applying to law school and responded that your LSAT score was an 1130. (just to be clear this indicates a blatant lie, not a poor performance) Or maybe, just maybe, it was when you said something about having 2 more shots then getting home to put your kid to bed. (this one is terrifying for many reasons) These reasons are not even close to exhaustive of what I could fill this space with, but a brief illustration.
I mean, seriously, I know I'm not the only guy around who has had this happen, or who find these situations hilarious yet simultaneously infuriating. What really chaps my ass is that this particular type of girl, which in my opinion makes up at least 50% of the young female population, genuinely believes that I should, as a man, be interested in her because she has boobs and the opposite of a penis.
That being said, to the future wife out there, have your pen and independent counsel ready - I'll bring the prenupt.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Self-Monitoring, Dog Frustration, and Man Tights
As the last entry had, this too, shall have 3 separate, unrelated segments. Reason? Nope. But we've got spaghetti. Aaaannd blankets. (hopefully whoever, if anyone, reads this gets that joke / reference)
Self Monitoring
The concept of "self-monitoring" is something that I was first formally introduced to in business school, but casually introduced to throughout my entire freaking life. Self-monitoring is essentially being aware of yourself in your surrounding circumstances, and acting in a way that's consistent with how you hope to be perceived. In some ways, self-monitoring theory has some negative connotations, in that if you are a "high" self monitor, you adapt frequently in order to have certain people hold you in different regards. For me however, what self monitoring boils down to is acting civilized, humble, and carrying yourself in a way that keeps you from overwhelming others. Essentially, I believe the idea of self-monitoring has a place in my personality, but not in the sense that I adapt depending on my surroundings; I consciously make an effort to conduct myself consistently in different venues.
The point of bringing it the whole idea up is, I'm reading a book called Why We Hate Us, which isn't so much about self-hate as it is a commentary about why we as Americans hate certain parts of our "American" lifestyle. I'm not a big Anti-American, but I am a huge advocate of self-deprecation, so I'm reading it, and analyzing my life with what is hopefully an appropriate amount of credence to the social commentary.
Anyway - my point is, the author presents the ideas of "selfism" and the devolution of concrete, objective lifestyles - how most of us really operate more off of our "feelings" rather than any solid identity or set of principles. A manifestation of this type of lifestyle is - GASP - blogging. And here I am, actively participating in one of the most concrete examples of "selfism." I really hope I'm not a "selfist" as described in the book, but very well may be. But just considering the idea that I may in fact be a selfist seems to suggest otherwise, OR it may suggest the problem is even bigger than I know. Please advise.
Dog Frustration
My dog, generally speaking, is the coolest. She's a German Shepherd that I got from a rescue when she was 4 months old. She listens to me more than any other dog I've ever come across, and is very protective of me when she thinks it's appropriate. That being said - today I am very frustrated with my dog. Last night, she ate a little more than usual, so this morning I walked her for a while longer to make sure she did all her business before I left for work.
Long story short, when I came home from work today, it became apparent that sometime during the day, my dog unleashed what can only be accurately described as a tsunami of feces, vomit, and some sort of hybrid on my kitchen floor. No particular reason for sharing other than the fact that it took literally 45 mins to clean correctly, and I am frustrated that my usually considerate pal was inconsiderate today. (I realize she couldn't control it. Zip it - it was gross to clean, so there it was)
Man Tights
Quickly - last weekend, I went for a run with 3 of my friends. The guy on the run closest to my age showed up wearing, literally, under armour tights with relatively small mesh shorts over top. If this guy were a particularly serious runner - I would have let this slide. However, this guy is decidedly NOT a serious runner, and I question why he would even own such attire. Additionally, when I made a completely inappropriate comment about him and his figure (which was no longer a secret to anyone) he countered by telling me how ridiculous it was that I was wearing a bandana to contain my blagoiavic-esq hair helmet. News flash friend - 1.) you are not a super-hero, tights are inappropriate, no matter the event, 2.)a bandana is practical, while tights are extremely risque, 3.) you are wrong. stop wearing tights.
Self Monitoring
The concept of "self-monitoring" is something that I was first formally introduced to in business school, but casually introduced to throughout my entire freaking life. Self-monitoring is essentially being aware of yourself in your surrounding circumstances, and acting in a way that's consistent with how you hope to be perceived. In some ways, self-monitoring theory has some negative connotations, in that if you are a "high" self monitor, you adapt frequently in order to have certain people hold you in different regards. For me however, what self monitoring boils down to is acting civilized, humble, and carrying yourself in a way that keeps you from overwhelming others. Essentially, I believe the idea of self-monitoring has a place in my personality, but not in the sense that I adapt depending on my surroundings; I consciously make an effort to conduct myself consistently in different venues.
The point of bringing it the whole idea up is, I'm reading a book called Why We Hate Us, which isn't so much about self-hate as it is a commentary about why we as Americans hate certain parts of our "American" lifestyle. I'm not a big Anti-American, but I am a huge advocate of self-deprecation, so I'm reading it, and analyzing my life with what is hopefully an appropriate amount of credence to the social commentary.
Anyway - my point is, the author presents the ideas of "selfism" and the devolution of concrete, objective lifestyles - how most of us really operate more off of our "feelings" rather than any solid identity or set of principles. A manifestation of this type of lifestyle is - GASP - blogging. And here I am, actively participating in one of the most concrete examples of "selfism." I really hope I'm not a "selfist" as described in the book, but very well may be. But just considering the idea that I may in fact be a selfist seems to suggest otherwise, OR it may suggest the problem is even bigger than I know. Please advise.
Dog Frustration
My dog, generally speaking, is the coolest. She's a German Shepherd that I got from a rescue when she was 4 months old. She listens to me more than any other dog I've ever come across, and is very protective of me when she thinks it's appropriate. That being said - today I am very frustrated with my dog. Last night, she ate a little more than usual, so this morning I walked her for a while longer to make sure she did all her business before I left for work.
Long story short, when I came home from work today, it became apparent that sometime during the day, my dog unleashed what can only be accurately described as a tsunami of feces, vomit, and some sort of hybrid on my kitchen floor. No particular reason for sharing other than the fact that it took literally 45 mins to clean correctly, and I am frustrated that my usually considerate pal was inconsiderate today. (I realize she couldn't control it. Zip it - it was gross to clean, so there it was)
Man Tights
Quickly - last weekend, I went for a run with 3 of my friends. The guy on the run closest to my age showed up wearing, literally, under armour tights with relatively small mesh shorts over top. If this guy were a particularly serious runner - I would have let this slide. However, this guy is decidedly NOT a serious runner, and I question why he would even own such attire. Additionally, when I made a completely inappropriate comment about him and his figure (which was no longer a secret to anyone) he countered by telling me how ridiculous it was that I was wearing a bandana to contain my blagoiavic-esq hair helmet. News flash friend - 1.) you are not a super-hero, tights are inappropriate, no matter the event, 2.)a bandana is practical, while tights are extremely risque, 3.) you are wrong. stop wearing tights.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Complete Irrelevance
24:
To begin, I have to admit that my relationship with the television show 24 is tenuous at best, especially when compared to those people who have watched religiously since the first season. In all truthitude (that's right, truthitude) I have watched 1 complete season (2 seasons ago) and part of last season which I quit on because I thought it was just getting to be too much, even for 24.
That being said, I have been following the current season pretty closely. It is entertaining, highly unrealistic, and almost everything I look for in a thoughtless TV show. Now - for those who haven't been paying as close attention as I have, or don't have the vast knowledge of useless, awful entertainment that I have, I must inform you that the current lead FBI detective on 24 (Assistant Director Larry Moss) is played by the very same actor that played Coach Ted Orion in D3:The Mighty Ducks, Jeffrey Nording.
Yes, this chameleon has now held my attention in the roles of an emotionally charged, scorned inter-office lover / FBI agent AND a prep-school JV Hockey coach who is the father to a wheel-chair bound daughter. If you ask me, this guy deserves some kind of an award. Probably the type of award that is invented for the recipient, because I can't imagine another with the acting chops of this fine thespian.
Free Legal Advice, Worth Every Penny:
Ok, this segment is somewhat serious, but very "high level" (MBA use, not colloquial) as far as the level of analysis - for many reasons, not the least of which is that I mean it only as a caution, not as advice. That being said - if anyone reading this (assumes readership, I know) is in a position where they are considering buying a home, please, for the love of God, have an attorney assist you should you decide to make a purchase. Please note that I said attorney, not just a realtor. I know many realtors who are nothing but professional, so I certainly don't mean this to detract from them and their valuable services. But I say without any form of hesitation that many realtors / agents / even title insurers who are not licensed attorneys leave a lot to be desired when it comes to their understanding of the term "marketable title."
In all, what I mean to say is...not only in this economy where many houses are being sold short, at foreclosure auctions, etc. but just in the real estate market as a whole, the notion of a title gets lost in the shuffle sometimes, and it can really come back to bite you in the ass - as many as 30 years after the purchase of your home, depending on where you live. I've seen it first-hand at work, and heard horror stories second-hand (and further removed) in social settings. Just be cautious with an investment of that size.
I'll get off the soapbox now.
Irrational Fear:
This is neither here nor there - but I recently discovered that I know someone who shares a particularized irrational fear with me, so it's on my mind. Ok - in my head, I know that there are dates on milk (and other products) that serve as an estimated time when the product will spoil. It is my understanding that these dates are directed more towards the store reselling the products than the ultimate consumer. Even during my impressionable childhood years my parents went so far as to assure me that, "you have at least two days after the date" to safely use or consume most products.
All of that being said and understood - I cannot stand the idea of milk that has passed it's "sell-by" date being in my refrigerator. Even if I know it's old, and won't drink it - I have a problem with it sitting on the shelf, using up the cold that I pay for. That's my cold, milk. My cold.
Let me tell you something else - that date is like a .08 is to a police officer - a steadfast marker that triggers a process - with a DUI it's being arrested - with milk - it's getting dumped down the freaking drain. Yes, this may be considered wasteful to many, but I assure you my lifestyle is not one that produces much waste, especially of the consumable variety. All in all, at 12:01 on the sell by date - that milk has a date with the bottom of my sink, no questions, sniff-tests or protests.
To begin, I have to admit that my relationship with the television show 24 is tenuous at best, especially when compared to those people who have watched religiously since the first season. In all truthitude (that's right, truthitude) I have watched 1 complete season (2 seasons ago) and part of last season which I quit on because I thought it was just getting to be too much, even for 24.
That being said, I have been following the current season pretty closely. It is entertaining, highly unrealistic, and almost everything I look for in a thoughtless TV show. Now - for those who haven't been paying as close attention as I have, or don't have the vast knowledge of useless, awful entertainment that I have, I must inform you that the current lead FBI detective on 24 (Assistant Director Larry Moss) is played by the very same actor that played Coach Ted Orion in D3:The Mighty Ducks, Jeffrey Nording.
Yes, this chameleon has now held my attention in the roles of an emotionally charged, scorned inter-office lover / FBI agent AND a prep-school JV Hockey coach who is the father to a wheel-chair bound daughter. If you ask me, this guy deserves some kind of an award. Probably the type of award that is invented for the recipient, because I can't imagine another with the acting chops of this fine thespian.
Free Legal Advice, Worth Every Penny:
Ok, this segment is somewhat serious, but very "high level" (MBA use, not colloquial) as far as the level of analysis - for many reasons, not the least of which is that I mean it only as a caution, not as advice. That being said - if anyone reading this (assumes readership, I know) is in a position where they are considering buying a home, please, for the love of God, have an attorney assist you should you decide to make a purchase. Please note that I said attorney, not just a realtor. I know many realtors who are nothing but professional, so I certainly don't mean this to detract from them and their valuable services. But I say without any form of hesitation that many realtors / agents / even title insurers who are not licensed attorneys leave a lot to be desired when it comes to their understanding of the term "marketable title."
In all, what I mean to say is...not only in this economy where many houses are being sold short, at foreclosure auctions, etc. but just in the real estate market as a whole, the notion of a title gets lost in the shuffle sometimes, and it can really come back to bite you in the ass - as many as 30 years after the purchase of your home, depending on where you live. I've seen it first-hand at work, and heard horror stories second-hand (and further removed) in social settings. Just be cautious with an investment of that size.
I'll get off the soapbox now.
Irrational Fear:
This is neither here nor there - but I recently discovered that I know someone who shares a particularized irrational fear with me, so it's on my mind. Ok - in my head, I know that there are dates on milk (and other products) that serve as an estimated time when the product will spoil. It is my understanding that these dates are directed more towards the store reselling the products than the ultimate consumer. Even during my impressionable childhood years my parents went so far as to assure me that, "you have at least two days after the date" to safely use or consume most products.
All of that being said and understood - I cannot stand the idea of milk that has passed it's "sell-by" date being in my refrigerator. Even if I know it's old, and won't drink it - I have a problem with it sitting on the shelf, using up the cold that I pay for. That's my cold, milk. My cold.
Let me tell you something else - that date is like a .08 is to a police officer - a steadfast marker that triggers a process - with a DUI it's being arrested - with milk - it's getting dumped down the freaking drain. Yes, this may be considered wasteful to many, but I assure you my lifestyle is not one that produces much waste, especially of the consumable variety. All in all, at 12:01 on the sell by date - that milk has a date with the bottom of my sink, no questions, sniff-tests or protests.
Monday, February 2, 2009
Two for two
So on the first day of the first two months of 2009, I have had a friend with whom I have been out with get arrested. The January event was entirely unfortunate, and has served as a learning experience for my friend, myself, and others, which in a twisted way is one of those 'blessings in disguise' depending on your particular point of view. Personally, I'm not sure I see it that way, but I guess it could be characterized as such; No injuries, no major loss of property other than money, so all in all relatively minor.
Now, I can say that the events surrounding the most recent arrest of one of my friends was most hilarious. The arrestee was one of my friends from college who came to visit me over the weekend, who has an unusual affinity for...shedding clothing when intoxicated. When it's just friends and those who know him, this is always unusual and awkward, but usually just funny. On this particular occasion, my friend decided to show parts of himself that usually don't see sunlight, to the local police department. Hilarity ensued. When my friend returned to my apartment after being in a holding cell for roughly 4 hours, he was clutching his plastic property bag. Inside was a document I am well familiar with through my work - a statement of probable cause for a criminal charge. The narration in it was both graphic and astounding, and I look forward to the day the law requires that it be read before a district court judge and a full courtroom. For those keeping track at home, that day will be April 3, 2009. I know I'll be there.
Now, I can say that the events surrounding the most recent arrest of one of my friends was most hilarious. The arrestee was one of my friends from college who came to visit me over the weekend, who has an unusual affinity for...shedding clothing when intoxicated. When it's just friends and those who know him, this is always unusual and awkward, but usually just funny. On this particular occasion, my friend decided to show parts of himself that usually don't see sunlight, to the local police department. Hilarity ensued. When my friend returned to my apartment after being in a holding cell for roughly 4 hours, he was clutching his plastic property bag. Inside was a document I am well familiar with through my work - a statement of probable cause for a criminal charge. The narration in it was both graphic and astounding, and I look forward to the day the law requires that it be read before a district court judge and a full courtroom. For those keeping track at home, that day will be April 3, 2009. I know I'll be there.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Thoughts from the couch
I've been thinking about starting one of these for a while now, and have finally decided to actually do it. I guess the hesitation came for so long because I thought, 'why would anyone want to read whatever random (or even calculated) thoughts that I have?' To an extent, I still feel the same way. However, I also have come to accept two very real facts; 1.) just because I post something online does not mean anyone will actually read it, and 2.) a lot of other people, who don't really have any more to say than I do, post every day without disasterous consequences or being accused of wasting anyone's time. With that being said - read on if you like, comment if you wish, or do neither.
So today was President Obama's inauguration. Did everybody feel that at noon today? That was the economy instantly correcting - but this time, with real financial backing, not over-reaching, unearned 'credit.' Our problems are solved.
In all honesty - I hope for nothing but the best to come from this new administration. If nothing else, at this point, he has given Americans a renewed sense of enthusiasm and faith about simply being American. However, given my innate cynicism and general mistrust of situations in which large groups of people readily agree, I am truly afraid that many Americans are investing too much of their emotional capital in the potential of Mr. Obama. Yes, I believe he can do great things. I do not, however, believe that most Americans (including myself) are not willing to accept what has truly brought about the current economic crisis that our country is facing. What's worse, is the general consensus that this man can somehow, unilaterally fix it.
Is it just me, or is all the finger-pointing getting really old? Yes, big-bad-businesses lent out all sorts of money they didn't have to people that didn't earn it - there is certainly enough corporate culpability to go around. But hang on a second - when did every American become entitled to a HD Tv, a 2,000 square foot home with a 2 acre yard, 2 cars and a vacation property? Maybe, just maybe, people were / are living beyond their means and rationalizing 50 year mortgages wherein they only pay interest for the first fifteen years of their 'ownership.' Why, when things are good, do we 'earn' what we have around us, but when times get tough, someone else is to blame for our struggles?
Sure, there are millions of Americans out there not living a lifestyle even close to that which i described above who are struggling either in the same way, or even worse - but guess what - over-extension is my topic for this evening.
Overall - good luck Mr. Obama, truly. (I am confidant he is spending his first evening in the white house reading this) However, good luck to those who are emotionally invested in his immediate success. In many ways, I think the latter will struggle more deeply with the first 100 days of the 44th president's tenure than the executive himself.
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